


Emptiness

by LoopyLiesey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas Eve, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoopyLiesey/pseuds/LoopyLiesey
Summary: The flat was quiet. It had been for weeks. Sirius had been alone for weeks.Not completely alone. He would see James, Lily, Peter and Harry. But not often enough. James and Lily were preparing to go into hiding with Harry. Peter was always busy. A war was being fought.And Remus was gone.





	Emptiness

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was taken from the [12 Days of Shipmas.](https://littlerose13writes.tumblr.com/post/167528124950/12-days-of-shipmas-because-i-love-christmas) I wanted to do a few of them, but only the 24th spoke to me; "It's Christmas Eve and you're not here." 
> 
> I posted this first on my HP tumblr, [siriuslikesmoonysbutt](http://siriuslikesmoonysbutt.tumblr.com/)

The flat was quiet. It had been for weeks. Sirius had been alone for weeks.

Not completely alone. He would see James, Lily, Peter and Harry. But not often enough. James and Lily were preparing to go into hiding with Harry. Peter was always busy. A war was being fought.

And Remus was gone.

Sirius still hadn’t gotten used to the empty feeling in the flat, and tonight it was even worse. It was Christmas Eve. The pair had spent Christmas Eve together for the last few years. They would exchange gifts, spend the night together, before spending Christmas Day with James, Lily, and Peter.

Even if Remus was there, Sirius wasn’t sure he’d even want to see him. The last time they’d seen each other was awful. They’d had a huge argument, horrible words slung at each other. The war was tearing them apart.

Remus was the spy.

He could deny it all he wanted (and he did), but Sirius knew that Remus was the spy. Had to be the spy. The thought was an incredibly painful one, but everything pointed to him. He’d been so secretive, he’d barely been home. He would be gone for weeks and not tell Sirius or anyone where he had been.

Sirius poured another Firewhiskey out for himself, chugging it down, trying to turn his thoughts away. But he couldn’t.

Where had everything gone so wrong? They’d been so happy, so in love. The war was hard, yes, but James and Lily were stronger than ever through it all.

Why would Remus turn against their friends? Against  _Sirius_? It didn’t match up with the Remus that Sirius knew.

What had been promised to him, how could Remus had believed it? Surely Remus knew that Voldemort wouldn’t follow through any of his promises. Remus would be treated no better than an animal by the Death Eaters.

Sirius slammed the mug on the table. He needed to do something, get his mind off things. He wasn’t in the mood to celebrate Christmas, there were no Christmas decorations in the flat this year, but surely there was something going on. A party somewhere that he could just forget, for a moment, how everything had fallen to shit.

* * *

Sirius didn’t know his name, but it didn’t matter. He gave the brunette man a sloppy kiss before digging into his pocket for his key, trying four times before he finally got it in the lock and opening the door. The man pushed him in and against the first wall, kissing him passionately. Sirius relaxed into the kiss, but the pair jumped when they heard a crash coming from the kitchen.

Sirius pushed the man off him, grasping his wand inside his pocket, hoping the stranger wouldn’t see. They’d met at a Muggle gay club, and Sirius wasn’t in the mood to deal with the repercussions of a Muggle finding out about magic.

He stepped slowly towards the kitchen, and opened the door. His heart skipped a beat when he saw who it was.

“Remus,” Sirius said, leaving his wand in his pocket as he stepped forward, “What are you doing here?” Remus looked up at him, his eyes skipping over Sirius to the Muggle man standing behind him.

“I still live here,” Remus said.

“Do you?” Sirius snapped, “Strange, I haven’t seen you in weeks!”

“Who are you?” the Muggle spoke up, his eyes wary.

“I should ask you the same question,” Remus said, sneering at him.

“He’s no one,” Sirius said, waving a hand dismissively, his eyes not moving from Remus.

“Classy,” Remus said through clenched teeth, crossing his arms.

“I… er… I’ll just go,” the Muggle man said.

“Oh no, don’t leave on my account,” Remus said, “I was just here to drop off a Christmas present.” Remus gestured to the table, where a present sat, wrapped neatly. Sirius looked at it, nauseous.

“I’m not getting caught up in this,” the Muggle muttered before practically running out of the flat. Neither of the other men noticed him leave.

“After everything, you come back to give me a Christmas present?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“It’s Christmas,” Remus shrugged.

“Remus,” Sirius said softly, taking a seat at the table opposite him. Remus’ eyes flickered away from Sirius.

“I didn’t know where you were or when you’d be back so I was just making myself some tea before heading off,” Remus said, standing up again and moving to the kitchen bench, where a teacup sat.

“You’re leaving again?” Sirius asked.

“You don’t want me here,” Remus said, facing away from Sirius as he poured some hot water into the tea cup, “The fact that you had someone here makes that obvious.”

“He’s nothing,” Sirius said, “I don’t even know his name.” Remus took a deep breath.

“That just makes it worse,” Remus said, turning around to face Sirius, tears in his eyes.

“Moony,” Sirius said apologetically.

“I know I shouldn’t be expecting anything from you. You made it very clear what you think of me. But seeing him…” Remus paused, closing his eyes, “It hurt.” He turned back to his cup of tea.

Sirius watched Remus silently as he put sugar in his tea, stirring it.

“I don’t even know why I bothered coming here, I knew it was a mistake,” Remus said suddenly, pouring his tea down the sink. He turned, tears still dripping down his face.

Sirius didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to react.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bother you again,” Remus said, snatching the present off the table. He started to walk out of the kitchen, but Sirius grabbed his arm as he went past.

“Wait,” Sirius said. Remus looked at Sirius expectantly, and he quickly looked for some words, something to make Remus stay; “What… what was the present?”

Remus looked down at the present in his hands, and handed it to Sirius.

“Something happy,” Remus said, before turning and leaving.

Sirius stared at the present, and hesitated before ripping the wrapping paper off. Inside was a photo frame. The photo was of Remus and Sirius, the day they had moved into the flat. They had fallen asleep on the sofa, Sirius draped over Remus.

Holding the frame carefully, Sirius went into the bedroom. He opened the back of the frame, took the photo out, and put it under his pillow. Perhaps he’d be alone in bed like he had been for weeks, but the photo would fill some of the emptiness.


End file.
